


The Bonds That Never Break

by potterhead_whovian77



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Albus Dumbledore Bashing, Eventual Romance, F/M, Harry Potter & Severus Snape Friendship, M/M, Manipulative Albus Dumbledore, Mentor Severus Snape, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Battle of Hogwarts, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, References to Depression, Slow Build, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-12-21
Packaged: 2020-04-06 06:20:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19056964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/potterhead_whovian77/pseuds/potterhead_whovian77
Summary: Twelve years after the Final Battle, Harry is dealing with the side effects of surviving. With help from old friends and new, will the Boy-Who-Lived be able to finally live in peace? Or will he continue to suffer?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time posting to this site. I have posted on FanFiction under the name edwardlover77, but am working on moving works to this site. I have no beta so if you notice a mistake, please let me know. I wish you peace, love, and good reading.  
>  -potterhead_whovian77

     Harry Potter was leaving the Three Broomsticks in Hogsmeade, Disillusioned and on his way to Hogwarts. It was five weeks before the Twelfth Annual Final Battle Memorial Ceremony. It was just another way that the thrice-damned Ministry showed the rest of the Wizarding World that it was Britain's own Harry Potter that finally defeated Lord Voldemort. There were some who truly believed that the ceremony was honestly a way to remember those whose lives had been taken during the final stand against the Dark Lord as well as throughout the rest of the war. However, Harry knew the majority would be there to see him, the-Boy-Who-Lived-Twice, as the media referred to him now. That's why Harry was on his way to the Hogwarts' Final Battle Memorial. He wanted to pay his respects to the true heroes like Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Tonks, Dean Thomas and Severus Snape. Harry believed that the sacrifices and bravery of those who had died had given him the strength to defeat the Dark Lord.

     Harry shook his head, looking up as he did. He noticed a cloaked figure, most likely a man based on the physical characteristics that he could see. The man was limping slightly as he continued towards Hogwarts. Harry's instincts kicked in, propelling him forward at a slightly faster pace. The man could honestly just be like Harry, on his way to the memorial before the ceremony to avoid the reporters and Ministry officials. Harry paused slightly as the man reached the wrought iron gates of Hogwarts. Harry wondered how the man was going to get past the gates. He didn't have to wait long for the answer to his internal question. Harry knew that the gates would only open after a person went through a tougher security screening. After the war, the security at Hogwarts had been heightened permanently. Anyone who wished to enter the school had to go through an extremely thorough security scan. Only staff and a select few were allowed to skip part of the scan. Harry was one of the very few, if not the only one allowed to skip the entire scan. Apparently, defeating the Dark Lord gave him a get out free card for many things. Harry chose to ignore it. He chose to show the entire Wizarding World that even the-Boy-Who-Lived-Twice was not above the law. He would only ever use his position and power rarely and even then only if he had no other choice. He only wanted to live in peace and quiet.

     Once they reached the gates of Hogwarts, the man placed a hand on the gates, revealing a small door in the gates themselves. Harry paused as he watched the man walk through the door. As far as he knew, only the professors and Headmistress were actually keyed into the gates' wards. Harry had been offered to be keyed in, but had refused, not wanting to be treated any differently. Harry was thinking of who the man could possibly be as he went through the scanning process. As soon as the scan was over, Harry rushed to catch up to the man. Harry headed to the grounds around the lake. That was where Albus Dumbledore had been laid to rest as well as the location of the Final Battle Memorial. He slowed down once he saw the cloaked man.

     Harry ducked behind a tree, watching as the man went straight to Dumbledore's tomb. From where Harry was, he could tell the man's shoulders were shaking as if he were crying. Harry didn't want to intrude, but there was just something about the man that seemed so familiar to Harry. He began to wonder at his decision to watch such a personal and private moment. Just as Harry was about to turn and head to the castle, the man began walking towards Harry. The Gryffindor decided to live up to his house name and pulled out one of the items he had brought with him. At least he had been planning to visit the Memorial and wouldn't be making up an excuse. Every year on the anniversary of the Final Battle, Harry would plant flowers in front of the Memorial. It was Harry's way of honoring his fallen friends. Harry ignored the man as he walked towards the Memorial. While Harry walked, his mind went back to that day of the Final Battle. The emotions from that day flooded his body. The events from that day continued to haunt Harry. He began to shake as the images filled his mind. Remus and Tonks reaching for each other in their last moments, the violent death of Dean Thomas, who sacrificed himself in order to give a group of first years time to escape. The worst of them all though was Snape's death. Hearing Nagini strike his professor over and over again. Not having the knowledge to even ease his suffering and watching as he bled to death. Those images along with others, continued to haunt Harry, even in his sleep. Harry believed that it would always haunt him. Harry fell to his knees in front of the Memorial and bent his head as tears began to fall. "Why them...why did it have to be them? Why not me? Why..." Harry cried, his entire body shaking. Harry had forgotten about the mysterious man.

     Harry had been kneeling in front of the Memorial, grieving for several minutes when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Harry turned to look behind him, his body feeling heavy and slow. "Are you alright?" He heard realizing that it was the mysterious man. "I...I'll be alright. I just wish they hadn't had to sacrifice their lives..." Harry looked down as the man spoke. "They must have had something to believe in that was worth dying for." At this, Harry chuckled grimly. "Yeah, a kid with an uncanny ability to get into trouble and somehow survive. I was told once that it was 'sheer dumb luck.' It was probably what Riddle's defeat meant, but..." Harry shook his head as he began to stand. "I apologize, you don't need to be bothered by my troubles." Harry sighed. "I wonder what Professor Snape would say. He was one of the few people to not see me as the-Boy-Who-Lived..." Harry thoughts wandered a little before the man spoke. "Celebrity is not everything, is it Mister Potter?" Harry's head jerked up quickly, recognizing the phrase. "Wha...I...Dear Merlin! You..You're alive! " Harry cried as the realization of who the man was sunk in. The man's face had a small, but sad smile. Harry sat back down, his mind spinning. "How..I mean...I saw you bleed to death!" Harry closed his eyes. "I had not planned to survive that night. However, Albus had made plans to ensure I survived. Fawkes was to aid me if the need arose. I managed to recuperate with the aid of an Order member." Harry tried to nod, but he was losing the battle against the nausea and dizziness. "Sir, I need to get to Poppy...I need..." Harry collapsed, his body seizing as he became unaware of the frantic sounds of his former professor rushing to get him aid.

 


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was planning on updating on Saturday but decided to do it today. Probably cause today has been crappy despite it being my 25th birthday. Oh well, it's life. As always, please let me know if there are any mistakes. I don't have a beta and probably need one. Anyways I hope you enjoy the chapter. Peace, love, and good reading.  
> potterhead_whovian77

     Severus looked down at the young man as he carried him to the castle. He had a feeling that it was not the shock of seeing him alive after twelve years of believing he was dead that had caused him to collapse. He had a feeling that the defeat of Voldemort, while bringing life back into the rest of the Wizarding World, had a serious price placed on it, mainly the suffering of the young man who had defeated him. Severus was so focused that he was unaware of the students on the grounds staring. One of the students, a first year Ravenclaw girl, rushed up to the pair. "Uncle Harry? Sir, do you know what happened to him? Did he have one of his spells again? Is there anything I can do to help?" The young girl asked as Severus slowed his pace to match hers. "You know Mister Potter? And what spells are you talking about?" The Ravenclaw girl chuckled as she nodded. "Yes sir, I also know who you are. My mother made sure to tell me and my siblings about one of the bravest men she ever knew. As for the spells, no one really knows what causes them. Ever since he defeated Fish Face, he's been having them."

  
     Severus stopped completely. "Fish Face? Who is that? And who is...oh, your mother would not happen to be Miss Granger, would she?" The girl nodded. "I say Fish Face because Uncle Fred and George say that Voldemort didn't look snake-like, but more like a fish. And it's Malfoy, not Granger. My father is Draco Malfoy." Severus nodded, shocked at the pairing. "If you could get Madame Pomfrey or the Headmistress to help bring Potter in, it would be greatly appreciated." Severus asked as he winced slightly. Even after twelve years, some of his wounds still had not healed the way they should have. The young woman nodded before she called another student over. "What is it, Caelan?" The Slytherin boy asked, looking worriedly at the Ravenclaw girl after seeing Severus carrying Harry's limp form. "Declan, run and get Madame Pomfrey. Tell her that Harry has had another spell and that HE's back." The boy's eyes widened as he turned to Severus. The boy then turned and ran into the castle as a familiar figure came rushing out. He was still trying to figure out what Miss Malfoy meant by "HE's back," when he heard a very familiar Scottish accent. "Well, it's about time you showed yourself Severus! I have been worried about you. I see you have shocked our young Mister Potter. Well come along, let us go into the castle. Poppy is probably foaming at the mouth by now." With that, the former Head of Gryffindor and the current Headmistress turned around and headed back into the castle, leaving a smirking student and a shocked Potions Master behind.

  
     Caelan Malfoy quickly cast a levitating charm on Harry's unconscious form before turning to Severus. "If you need to lean on me while you're walking, I am perfectly fine with it. Madame Pomfey will probably need to check you over also, sir." She said, causing the ex-professor to chuckle. "Miss Malfoy, you sound exactly like your mother did when she was your age. However, I do not think Poppy can help me. My wounds are over a decade old and could not heal properly due to Nagini's venom." With that, Severus, Caelan, and an unconscious Harry Potter entered the castle.

           ¤HP¤HP¤HP¤HP¤HP¤

     As the trio moved through the castle, students stopped and stared as they walked by. "Don't you dunderheads have something better to do than stand around, staring at war heroes? Go do schoolwork or something. And close your mouths, you all have drool dripping onto your robes!" Caelan yelled, causing the students to turn and leave. Severus shook his head, chuckling softly. Apparently, Caelan had her mother's bossy, know-it-all attitude and some of her father's arrogance. With Caelan clearing their way, it didn't take very long to reach the Infirmary. Severus wondered if Poppy would lecture him about taking care of himself, like she had every time he had visited the Infirmary, no matter how severe his injuries had been. He shook his head, smiling a little at the past memories.

  
     Caelan levitated Harry onto an empty Infirmary bed that was set apart from the rest of the ward. "Minerva kept telling me that you had survived, but I never believed her. " Severus turned to face the medi-witch. "Albus must have left her a message. I never expected to survive, but the meddling old coot had to interfere." Severus said softly as he saw the tears welling up in the woman's eyes. "Have your wounds healed? From what little information Harry has given and the nightmares...well, it was easy to tell that your wounds had been severe." Severus shook his head. "Due to Nagini's venom, they haven't healed correctly. However, I am not in need of your care at this time. Mister Potter collapsed at the Memorial and from what Miss Malfoy has mentioned, it is not the first time." Poppy nodded sadly as she moved next to Harry's bed. "Ever since that night...it's as if he were being drained. I have spoken with some colleagues of mine and we just can't figure it out. He doesn't deserve this, after everything he has sacrificed for our world." Poppy tucked the blanket in around Harry before she turned to Caelan. "Let your parents know that Harry has had another episode. Tell them that a lost friend has brought him here." Caelan simply nodded before quietly leaving.

  
     "Now tell me what you're thinking. I know that look." Severus glanced at Harry, chuckling as he sat in the chair Poppy had conjured. "I never could hide anything from you." Poppy simply stared at him, a single eyebrow raised. "The only thing that I can come up with is that because of the scar that Voldemort had given Harry, there was a bond created between the two of them. Since Voldemort is dead, Harry is suffering from an improperly severed bond." Poppy stood quietly, contemplating her former colleague's theory. "It is possible and so far is the only thing that makes sense. I'll let Mrs. Malfoy know when she arrives. She will be able to research it more since I assume you have been and will continue to be avoiding society." Severus shook his head. "I have not been avoiding society willingly. The majority of the public continues to see me as the big bad Death Eater. Perhaps Mrs. Malfoy would consider doing a joint research project. I am correct in assuming that she has been doing continuous research on Potter's condition, am I not?" Poppy nodded as the doors to the Infirmary burst open.

  
     Severus turned to see who was causing the commotion when he heard a familiar voice. "G..Godfather? You..You're alive! You're really alive!" Severus stood as a familiar platinum blonde young man came around the curtain. "Draco..." Severus quietly spoke as the young man ran toward the Potions Master. The older man held his arms open and hugged Draco. "We..that is, Mother and I thought you were dead. I..I've missed you, Godfather." Severus held the boy tighter for a moment before releasing him. "I have missed you also, Draco. You have to understand that if I could have alerted you to my...survival, then I would have. However, I believe I owe you belated congratulations. I have just learned that you have married and I have also met your daughter. Congratulations, Draco. She is very much like..." Severus was interrupted by yet another familiar voice. "Like her mother? Is that what you were about to say? Don't worry about it, sir. I have it on good authority that it's true. It's good to see you again. I'm glad you survived the war. I know Draco is extremely glad you did." Severus nodded, silently wondering just how these two former students managed to overcome their differences to the point that they married. "Caelan told us you found Harry. Do you mind telling us what happened? Maybe there was a trigger of some kind that we missed." Hermione asked as she sat in a transfigured chair. Severus sighed before speaking. When he got to the part of his tale where he saw Harry at the Memorial, he paused. "Mister Potter was extremely distraught. He was muttering something about 'why them, why not me.' I believe he was having flashbacks. He was also muttering Lupin and Nymphadora's names as well as Mister Thomas'." Draco looked a sickly pale color while Hermione looked thoughtful. "His symptoms sound like PTSD." She said, rolling her eyes at their confusion. "It is a Muggle diagnosis. It stands for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. It affects the mind and body. It's usually connected with Muggle military veterans or abuse victims. It can be quite serious." Severus looked from her to the young man lying in the Infirmary bed. "In a way, we all are military veterans. We have fought for our lives and the preservation of our way of life. It is surprising there are not more succumbing to this PTSD." The former Slytherin Head of House spoke quietly. He saw one of Potter's fingers twitch. "I believe he is beginning to come to." They turned to see Harry's eyes slowly opening.

 


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the long wait. I had most of the chapter before Life decided to intervene. I'm not sure when the chapter will be up due to current medical issues I'm dealing with. Hopefully it won't be another six months before the next chapter update. On a side note, I do not own Harry Potter or related franchises and I am not making money from this. Any mistakes are mine, but if you notice anything please let me know. Enough of my blabbering, on with the show!  
> Peace, Love, and Good Reading!  
> -potterhead_whovian77

Harry slowly became aware of his surroundings. He heard several different voices around him. He knew from past experience to slowly open his eyes. "Harry? Can you hear me?" Harry looked over at Hermione. "Y..Yeah. How long was I out this time?" Harry turned to face Severus as he spoke. "You were only out for an hour at most, Mister Potter." Harry nodded slowly. "You know you can call me Harry, sir. It's been over a decade since I was your student." Severus nodded in reply before speaking. "Very well, Harry. You may call me Severus. Now, are you having any symptoms?" Harry shook his head. "I'm a little tired, but I'm always tired nowadays. I feel horrible all the time and I'm so tired. I'm just tired of it all. I want to live in peace and not worry about my health." He said as tears silently fell. Hermione touched his shoulder gently while she spoke. "I know you are Harry, but if anyone deserves to live peacefully it would be you and the professor. Without the two of you, Voldemort would have won. But we are looking for an answer. Between Draco, the professor, and myself, we should be able to locate a solution. Then you can live the rest of your life in peace, without having to worry about your health. Until then, you could stay here in a guest room." Harry began to shake his head. "He can stay with me. It will make it easier to perform tests that will be needed in order to properly tailor potions to his exact needs. He can also do research in the Prince library. If you wish." The Potions Master suggested quietly. Draco looked up at his godfather in shock. "I couldn't do that sir. I know how much you prefer your solitude." Harry said. "Much has changed since the war, Harry. It would make it easier to research your condition since the Prince library is said to be the most vast and varied of the libraries belonging to the ancient houses. There is enough room for you also Draco, Mrs. Malfoy." Hermione shook her head as she spoke. "Please, call me Hermione. Mrs. Malfoy reminds me of Draco's mother." Severus nodded. "I think Godfather is right. It would be easier if we were all in the same place. Father told me the House of Prince is one of the most ancient of the Houses that still exist. There are probably texts in the library that were thought to have been destroyed. And if for some reason we need to look in the Malfoy library, it's only a Floo trip away." Draco spoke excitedly. "Well, if you think it would be best, then I guess I accept your invitation, Pro...Severus." Harry murmured quietly before closing his eyes and dozing. Hermione gently patted Harry's hand before turning to the other two men in the room. 

"The episodes are getting worse every time. I'll go to the Manor and grab the  books I've looked through and the ones I've set aside. We need to find a solution soon. I don't know how much longer Harry will last at this pace." Draco nodded. "On top of all this, Harry has to attend the Ministry's damned Annual Final Battle Ceremony. That's only five weeks away. If we haven't found a permanent solution, we need to at least have a temporary one. Even without  the bloody ceremony, we need to figure something out. The Muggles say that seizures affect the brain in a negative way. We need to control the seizures in order to be able to help Harry in the long run." Severus stood at that moment and turned to Hermione. "Is Mis..Harry taking any potions or Muggle medications? That may be the place we need to start. His entire medical history, parents' medical history and possibly even grandparents' medical history. We need to check for any genetic conditions. We will also need any knowledge of spells or potions used, especially around the Final Battle. He will need a physical, several different medical scans, all of them being of the Magical and Muggle varieties..." Severus murmured as he began to pace. "Godfather, ask Poppy about his magical medical history and if she knows about any spells or potions he may have been affected by during the Final Battle. Hermione can look into the Muggle side of things. I'll look into what Wizarding conditions can be causing these symptoms. It may be that Harry will need to see a Muggle physician. Perhaps one with knowledge of the Wizarding  World." Draco spoke turning to Hermione. "I'll grab the books from the Manor before heading to Prince Hall, if that is alright with you?" He turned to his godfather. "Of course, Draco. You and yours are always welcome. The sooner we begin the search for a solution, the better. I will go speak with Poppy, hopefully she has knowledge of Potter or Lily's family history. I will also make a few stops to grab a few supplies before going back to the Hall." Severus quickly turned and walked to Poppy's office. "Alright, I'll see you at Severus', Draco. As soon as Harry is awake, I'll take him to get his things and then I'll bring him to Prince Hall." Hermione said as Draco bent to kiss her cheek. "He'll be alright, love. We'll find a solution." Hermione nodded. "I know...it's just hard to watch him slowly slip away. The majority of our time at Hogwarts...Oh God, Draco! What if we can't find an answer? I can't imagine my life without Harry. He's like my brother! We've already lost Ron... Draco, why Harry? Why did it always have to be him?" Hermione put her head on her husband's shoulder and cried as he hugged her. 

 "I have asked myself that question many, many times, Hermione. The only thing I can come up with is that Fate is very cruel to those who do not deserve such cruelty. Yet, those who deserve such cruelty, do not receive it. But, I will promise you this, if it is within my power, I will help Harry. He has never done anything to deserve the life that Fate has handed him. Harry deserves to live the way he wishes and not have to merely survive in the situation caused by a madman's obsession with power. From now on, if Harry wishes to do anything, it will be done. He has sacrificed enough for the citizens of the Wizarding world and even the Muggle world, to deserve a quiet and peaceful life to the ends of his days." Severus said quietly as he walked up to Harry's bedside. "Professor! Did Madame Pomfrey know anything that might help Harry?" She asked, nearly jumping up in her anticipation. "She did, unfortunately. Some bloody idiot gave him a cocktail of mediocre potions that SHOULD NOT  EVER be combined in any situation. The stupidity of the bloody imbecile could have killed the boy! If and when I ever get my hands on the.." Severus muttered darkly, stopping when Draco placed his hand on his godfather's arm. "Do you know who did this, Godfather? Did they do this to Harry on purpose? Is it possible to reverse the effects  that the cocktail has had?" Draco asked after the several minutes it took for Severus to calm down. "The bloody imbecile was Theodore Nott. He forced the potions on Harry while under the effects of Polyjuice Potion. He knew Harry wouldn't refuse aid from Ronald Weasley." Hermione gasped. "Oh God, no! That...When Ron died, he was on assignment. He was going after a group of...Oh, God! Nott must have been behind his death!" Hermione said as her face turned red. "How did Mister Weasley die?" Severus asked as he pulled a mild Calming Draught out of his robes and handed it to Hermione. "He died from complications caused by potions that wouldn't have been given together by any competent medical personnel." Draco shook his head. "Why would Nott do such a thing? I mean yes, his father was a Death Eater, but so was Lucius. He is a disgrace to the House of Slytherin! They both are. Well, they were anyways." Severus stood quietly as Draco comforted his wife while the Calming Draught took effect. “I believe that Nott thought to continue with his beloved Lord’s work. It may have even been an attempt to resurrect Voldemort. The bloody dunderhead, as if Harry and his supporters would make absolutely sure that the thrice-damned Dark Lord could not be reborn.” Draco chuckled quietly. ‘And thank fuck for that. I don't believe our world could handle a second rebirth of that sodding...oof” Draco glanced at his wife from his hunched over position after she elbowed him in the stomach. “Sorry, love.” he murmured as Hermione turned to face the Potions Master. “I say we catch up later. How about we met at Prince Hall in about two hours, three at the most. Anything else can be discussed there.” With a final nod, the three left the Infirmary to do their assigned tasks in the hope of finding a solution to save the Golden Boy’s life.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I hope you enjoyed the update! Let me know what you think! reviews are food for the muses!  
> Peace, Love, and Good Reading!  
> -potterhead_whovian77


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am surprised that I was able to get another chapter out so soon. I'm not sure when the next chapter will be up, so Merry Christmas to all and have a wonderful new year. Also any mistakes are mine, but if you notice anything please let me know so I can fix it. I will say that the chapter decided to go its own way instead of what i had planned. Anyways, I hope you enjoy the chapter.  
> Peace, Love, and Good Reading.  
> -potterhead_whovian77

As two hours to the second had passed, Harry was being readied to leave the Infirmary and move to Prince Hall. Madame Pomfrey was doing some final scans before releasing him into the care of three of the best researchers she knew. She was desperately hoping that the trio would find something to at least ease Harry’s suffering soon, otherwise she feared that the damage would be irreversible. Of course, that opinion need not be said because the whole group understood what was at stake if they were unable to help him. 

Madame Pomfrey had just finished the last of the scans when the former Head of Slytherin, Severus Snape entered the Infirmary and headed towards the duo. “Mister...Harry, are you feeling up to leaving for the Hall or do you need a few moments more?” The dark man asked, switching the name he was speaking at the look given by his former student. “I still feel weak and shaky, but that’s usually how I feel after an episode. Hell, it’s how I feel everyday since the Final Battle. I wonder if you should even bother…” Harry broke off suddenly staring off into the distance. “Harry, no one should have to feel like that everyday. And do not even begin to say that no one should bother helping you. You have always helped those who needed it, even if they themselves did not realize they needed the help. As I have observed through the years, you put the safety of others above your own. You died to protect people who turned their backs on you. You protected the ones who would rather believe the MInistry’s propaganda. Those who refused to see the truth and called you a liar when you announced Voldemort’s return. You gave your life for people who mistreated your loyalty and betrayed your trust and who you did not even know. Let us return the favor. Let us do this to help you. Let someone else do the worrying for once and try not to stress. I understand it has been very hard for you since the battle, but let someone else bear the burden for once. Let your friends and those with the abilities to help, do so. Not because they owe you, for we do, the entire world, both Wizarding and Muggle do, but because we wish to. All you need to do is allow us to help, no matter how insignificant of a task it may seem to you.” Severus said as he moved to sit in the chair next to Harry’s bed. “I’m not worth it though. I was raised to believe that I was a freak. I didn't even realize that wasn't my name until I was in primary school. My first friend was Ron. I didn't understand that a family was supposed to be loving until I met the Weasleys. The reason I did those selfless things was because I felt as if I had no choice. I feared the reaction of the world realizing that I really was just a freak who was lucky enough to not die. Or unlucky as it might be.”

¤HP¤HP¤HP¤HP¤HP¤

Severus sat next to Harry, shocked to silence. After a few moments, most of which were spent silently cursing the former headmaster Albus Dumbledore, the Slytherin spoke up. “I fear the Infirmary is not the place for the conversation I believe must take place. Apparently the great leader of the light, Albus Dumbledore was not as trustworthy as he would have the Wizarding world believe. Let us move you to the Hall and then if you wish, we can continue the conversation.” Harry sat quietly for a moment before he replied. “I don't care either way. I never really told Ron and Hermione everything. The only ones who knew the whole truth were the twins. And that was only because they forced it out of me, the summer before second year.” Severus shook his head before standing. “I have a feeling I will wish to resurrect dear old Albus just to send him back to his grave after this conversation.” Severus muttered under his breath. The young Gryffindor chuckled darkly as his former professor walked by. “I have wished that I could tell the old man what I truly thought of him, but I realized it wouldn't do any good. It wouldn't change the past or help anything, so why bother?” Harry answered as he slowly walked behind Severus. All he got in reply was the shaking of a head. 

As the two were about to leave the Infirmary, the former Death Eater stopped near the fireplace. “Would you prefer to travel by Floo or Side-Along Apparition?” Severus asked of his young charge, to which he merely received a shrug of the shoulders. Sighing, Severus spoke again. “What would cause the least amount of side effects to you? I would rather like to avoid causing you more pain and stress than absolutely necessary. “The Floo would be better. For some reason, yet to be discovered, Apparition causes relapse every time. I still hope that it will recede.” At Potter’s,  _ no Harry’s,  _ answer, the Slytherin escorted the Gryffindor into the Floo connection and into Prince Hall.

¤HP¤HP¤HP¤HP¤HP¤

Severus grabbed Harry before he could fall as they exited the fireplace. “I’m alright, sir. I only have a little bit of dizziness.” Severus did not reply, only led the young man from the foyer into the drawing room. “Have a seat while I have one of the elves take your things upstairs.” A house elf quietly popped in and took Harry’s shrunken possessions. “Would you like any refreshments?” Severus asked after calling for another elf. “Sure, just some tea will be fine. Decaffeinated...unfortunately.” Harry muttered the last bit under his breath. Severus chuckled as he placed the order. “Can I safely assume that the caffeine causes problems with the episodes you are having?” Severus asked as he sat in an armchair across from the young man. “I haven't noticed any, it just gives me migraines since the aftermath of the war. Probably because I thrived on it towards the end.” Severus nodded. “I can understand that. During my career as a double spy. I lived on Pepper-Up Potion and coffee. Basically anything that could help me keep awake during the times that it was impossible to get any sleep. That has it’s consequences of course. I can no longer eat certain things and have to take Pepper-Up at a much lower dose than is called for, if I take any at all.” At that moment, the second house-elf popped in and left a tea tray n the coffee table between the two armchairs. Severus thanked the elf, whose name was Pippin. He then began to quietly serve the tea. “So I guess you are wondering about what I said earlier.” severus didn't say anything only nodded his head once. After a few moments, he replied. “Only if you wish to. However a background may help us with the research of your episodes and the possible source of them.” 

Harry took a deep breath and a few moments to gather himself. “First of all, I hate talking about what happened to me as a child so I don't know how much I will be able to comfortably tell you. Second, if I am unable to tell you everything or haven’t answered all of your questions, you are free to ask the Weasley twins about what they know. I will let them know that it’s fine to tell you whatever you want to know.” Severus sat silently, realizing that the backstory of the young man was most likely filled with more torment than he had been led to believe. “Would you rather me Floo them now? For moral support, if needed.”Severus quietly added. Harry shook his head. “No, they are always on my case to be more open to what happened to me, otherwise it will cause more damage the more I try to ignore it.” Harry took a deep breath. “Here goes. I’ll start with the cupboard under the stairs, my home for almost eleven years. At least until the owls began to deliver my Hogwarts letters."

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After Harry talked for awhile, pausing only twice for a drink, he stopped. Severus sat in the armchair, shocked at everything he had just heard. “Dear Merlin, Potter. How on earth did you survive all these years? Why does no one know of what you have had to endure?” Severus shook his head as he stood up and moved over to the nearby bar. “Would you like one? After all that information, I need something to steady my nerves.” Severus asked as he poured himself a finger of firewhiskey. At the shake of Harry’s head, Severus moved back to his seat. “The only reason I survived pre-Hogwarts was due to my being a wizard. At least that is my belief. During Hogwarts was the help from Hermione, Ron, and usually others, like yourself. Otherwise it was “sheer, dumb luck as Professor McGonagall liked to say. And there are others who know what happened to me. There are only three that I know of who know the whole truth.” Harry paused, taking a deep breath to steady his nerves. Severus reached into a pocket in his robes and pulled out a blue potion vial. “Take this, perhaps only a few drops to help settle your nerves should do.” Harry took the vial and took a small sip. “Thank you sir.” Harry said before taking another deep breath. “Did you not think to tell the Headmaster of what your home life was like. He has had to deal with other abusive situations that students were dealing with.” Harry laughed, a slight darkness to it. “Oh he knew alright. Did you know he left me on the Dursleys doorstep in November without a blanket. He didn’t even cast a warming charm on me. Before my first year was over, I went to him, told him how they treated me and do you know what he told me? ‘Oh you must be mistaken, my boy. Surely you are exaggerating the incidents. I hardly believe such upstanding citizens could treat a child so harshly.’ that man, the so called leader of the light knew how I was being treated and yet still forced me to go back to them. Did you know that Tom Riddle lived in an orphanage until Dumbledore visited him and told him about Hogwarts? Tom was treated almost as badly as I was a child, yet he was also forced to go back to that horrible place each summer.  The great and mighty Albus Dumbledore is why Lord Voldemort came into being. The events that took place during the school term, minus the fourth year Triwizard tournament incident, was all Dumbledore’s doing. The only reason Tom turned the Cup into a portkey was to try and talk to me without Dumbledore around, except Dumbledore had another spy there to dose me with a potion similar to the Imperious Curse. I can throw off the Imperious, but I have no resistance to the potion. I never like Dumbledore. There are so many things you didn't know about him, Snape. All things that can be found if you search hard enough, which I did. As did Hermione and the twins. Grindelwald wasn't even dark. He discovered Dumbleore’s true persona and wanted to warn the world, but was unable. Dumbledore managed to trick the world into thinking that Grindelwald was evil and that he was just trying to stop him. Did you know that Tom was cursed and that was why he did the horrendous things he did. He begged me to kill him. He dropped his wand and walked right up to me and begged me to end it. He couldn't live with the fact that he was the cause of so many deaths.” 

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Harry took another small sip of the Calming Draught before speaking again. “Do you know the worst of it, sir? The prophecy that Dumbledore believed in so deeply, the one Sirius died for? It was a fake. It was the brainchild of Dumbledore. He even Imperioused Trelawnley to make it seem as if whoever heard it would believe it was a true prophecy. To this day Professor Trelawnley believes it was real.” Severus sat silently, unable to truly comprehend what he was being told. “It was a fake...that means...oh sweet Merlin! I am the reason they are dead…” Severus muttered quietly as Harry looked on. “It wasn't your fault, sir. Dumbledore knew you would be there that night knew exactly what you would do with the information. But it was him that polyjuiced into Tom, him who killed my father, my mother and my unborn siblings. He killed my godfather, all the lives that were lost during the war can be laid at his feet because if he had done anything to help Tom or even showed him a drop of kindness, there would not have been a Lord Voldemort.” Severus had gotten up and moved to the bar, pouring another finger of Firewhiskey while Harry was speaking. He stood silently before swiftly turning around shocked. “Wait, did you say siblings? That means...Lily was pregnant?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully my muse will let me bring Draco and Hermione back in the next chapter. Then again it may be another chapter of Severus and Harry bonding.   
> Peace, Love and Good Reading!  
> -potterhead_whovian77

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed the first chapter. Please review and let me know what you think. I will try to update somewhat regularly, but I have a lot of health issues, everything from migraines, depression to psoriatic arthritis. I'm not saying this to say poor pity me, but to let you know the reason behind my possible irregular updates.  
> Anyways, I wish you peace, love and good reading.  
> -potterhead_whovian77


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